I always thought that when I had my first child, I would take my maternity leave and then return to work. I would take my daughter to day care, drop her off, she would spend her day getting to know other kids, and then I would pick her up after work. That's what I pictured in my mind. But, in reality, nothing ever happens according to plan.
Our daughter is two months old and my maternity leave is up. I either have to go back to work or stay at home and be a full time mom. I was supposed to be approved for three months of leave so we could figure out the child care situation, but my work didn't approve it (even though they are supposed to since I am still having complications after delivery and my doctor wants me to stay home and rest. So here I am trying to make this tough decision.
Do I just quit or do I go back to work?
Well, right now my job is making demands that we, as a family, can't meet. I don't make enough to go back to work and then pay for child care. Child care in a big city, especially in Lincoln Park, is too expensive. Around $2,000 a month. I don't make that much at my little part time job (where I am severely underpaid ... And, I feel, because I'm a woman. But that's another rant and rave).
Now, despite the fact we can't afford child care, my work is just not being flexible with my schedule. Danny has been given somewhat of a descent, reliable schedule as of late (6-3) so I would be able to pick up the closing shifts every night of the week except Sundays. But that doesn't work for "their" needs. But there isn't anything I can do about it. I can't leave my daughter alone by herself (Duh!) and I can't rely on a sitter since my work wants me to have a more open availability. Which would mean that I couldn't have a set schedule and I just can't do that.
Then they tell me that there are other people at work that have children who "make it work" for them. But they also have family watching their children or make enough to pay for full time chldcare. We are living in Chicago by ourselves. We don't have any family nearby. None at all. Granted, if I was living back home, I wouldn't have this problem Since our families would help... But Danny and I are much happier here than we would be back home so we have to do this alone.
So, when it comes down to it, right now it seems beneficial for me to stay at home and take care of the little one myself.
I would hate to be unemployed though ... for any period of time. I have been employed since I turned 16 and I would hate to have a gap on my resume. Plus, if I quit, I may never start working again and I never pictured myself as the stay at home type. Also, I'd things get scary financially (they are fine now but that could change), I would hate for me to struggle to find work in this crappy economy.
Honestly, if child care wasn't super expensive or we could qualify for some aid to help, this would be a no-brainer. But it is super expensive and we don't qualify... so I'm stuck and no where close to making any type of decision right now.
Gosh ... I hate this type of pressure.
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